FADING

Some things never change.
     Rearrange
the furniture
The walls remain
 still stain
my conscience, but since
There's no escaping,
the only sane thing
is to keep refraining
from abstaining
and containing
my pleasures;
conscience no measure-
gave her the slip
couldn't equip me
with tools for survival.
     Unrivaled
in my pursuit
of the rainbow's loot-
Pain's slow to recede
when you've made veins bleed
in all directions
surgeon's election
is to cauterize the wounds,
not soon enough,
tough to repair
a man who's not there
fading quickly to black
heart attack
my deliverance
ever since
I fell under this spell
living hell, hot water
not cooling, no fooling
the Maker
taker of all who bend their knee, free
grace bitter pill to swallow,
hollow leg can't get full
heavy guilt will annul
the forgiveness he offers,
much softer
than the anvil
that will
kill the hope.
  Tie a rope
round my neck
wreck what's left.
  Fallen prey to the lion,
speck of dust blown away
                       off to Zion